Swedish for beginners

I am a firm believer that the Swedish language one day will be the #1 spoken language in the world. It has come to my knowledge that there are not a whole lot of institutions that teach this great language, no worries, your trust worthy blogger is here to help.

Bible belt

We live in the bible belt and that at times get a "liberal" Swede going. In yesterdays paper you could read about two high school kids that kissed on the school bus. The incident occurred last October and both kids were suspended for the rest of the school year. The boy also got charged with sexual misconduct.

Both sets of parents have now challenged the boards decision after viewing the bus surveillance tape from that day. What you see are two teenagers kissing and then they hold hands the rest of their ride.

A bit over the top the parents think and I agree. If there would have been some more intimate making out, going to second or third base, fine.

The board hides behind some old out dated paragraphs, claiming that they have to follow protocol. Common sense is long gone and just forget about some one to step up and actually stand behind a decision without blaming protocol. They just want to be politically correct.

Now imagine this, two teenage boys kissing on the school bus. Same outcome? I wouldn't think so, no one would dare expelling them.

Soccer registration

To get Alex registered in soccer has turned out to be more complicated that you might think it would be. Marta did a first attempt on Monday.

Jonas: Did you register him?

Marta: No I couldn't find the place.

Jonas: It's the same building as the fire station.

Marta: I know. After I circled it for 20 minutes a cop started looking at me so I left.

Jonas: The police station is in the same building, why didn't you just ask him?

Marta: He might have arrested me after my some what suspicious driving around.

So I took it upon myself to do it on Tuesday after work except that I didn't bring his birth certificate. Back to Marta today, loaded with paperwork, certificates but no check. They don't accept cards.

Guess where the check is, in my darn wallet. I guess I will be on top of it tomorrow.

Ambulance

As I walked out in the shop to close it down today one of my guys shouted out: JONAS! I looked at him, not a pretty sight and he said: I think I might need an ambulance.

He sure did, he had extreme difficulties breathing and was blue in his face and on his arms. The first EMS crew arrived in 5 minutes and after some diagnostic and radio back and forth he was taken to the hospital.

This incident raised a lot of thoughts I have had lately about the American health system. It is a great system if you're;

1. In good health.

2. Have a lot of money, should you become ill.

What about insurance. It is readily available to any one with out a documented illness. Take asthma for instance. No one wants that in their chart, let's call it respiratory virus instead. If you get "tagged" with asthma during your professional carer and you have insurance, let's just pray that your employer never changes insurance, or that you change jobs, modern slavery I at times call it.

During my time here in the US I have encountered different views, solutions and law suits in this matter. I have during insight in different ventures learned about different approaches to this problem. Because it is a problem I think. There are some that allow their employees to insure their families with the company plan at great discount, the employer picks up the tab. There are they who have a set dollar amount per month who the employer is willing to pay. Single or not.

At the end of day it raises a lot of questions, is it a benefit if the company goes under paying these high costs?Without a pay check then what do I do? It is a substantial bill to pay and in hard times you need that money to keep operating. As an employer do I reject people with bad health? Or are at risk? This is highly illegal but please don't tell me it never happens. If I am not denying them the opportunity to work, is it fair for their coworkers to pick up the increased bill? At the end of the day it affects the bottom line.

We here about discrimination between different groups of people, black, Hispanic, Asian, you name it. We might overcome that to replace it with a different type of discrimination, I all ready hear obese people screaming foul. It is indeed a sad society we live in.

Oyster festival

Today was Boone Hall Plantations annual oyster roast. 65 000 pounds of oysters was trucked in, the obvious choice but for the pickier eaters more foods where served as well and lots of it. How about gyros, stuffed bacon and crab wrapped shrimp, wings, fries, shrimp and grits and more low country delicacies'.

We arrived early and enjoyed about 4 dozen oysters. We did try most other foods as well while mingling with good friends. They see about 10 000 people every year at this festival. Bands are playing, there are contests, beer tents, different businesses in tents rallying for new customers etc.

There was also a kids corner with a jump castle, pony rides, petting zoo and face painting. Alex got a pirate and Fia a butterfly on their cheeks.

We finished the day with an ice cream at the boat on a wonderful warm and sunny January Sunday in the Low country.

Tiger Woods

Alex is the next Tiger Woods. Yesterday he showed me who is who when it comes to golf. He did well as I struggled as always.

Alex: Pappa, hit it like this.

Jonas: Yeah, yeah, I haven't played in awhile you know.

Alex: Pappa! You have to open the club up a bit more.

Jonas: I always have had a bit of a problem with that, thanks Alex.

Who the hell does he think he is? Open the club up, like they come apart. Alex hits most balls straight and far. I will have to Google " open club" to try and figure out what the hell that means. The little man scored 1-0 over pappa.

The 80's

I saw one of my very best friends, Jeff the other day. We don't see each other as often any more but when we do I have a good time. We started to talk music, Jeff is a musician so the subject does come up more often than not. The question was what was the first album we bought? I drew a blank but the today I remembered, the good old vegetable farmers market sales guy from London, Howard Jones. Enjoy!

Touchdown

Alex rocked this morning in his football game. He scored 4 touchdowns and took 6 flags from the other teams players. He was most valuable player today, his coaches and the ref named him that. He runs like a 9 year old they told me.

It was a very proud dad standing at the sideline freezing his ass off at 8.15 in the morning. A slight rain, cold north westerly breeze and in the upper 30's (4 Celsius). One is glad that he got to watch Alex play the game of his life. In all honesty his whole team really played well today, they are starting to get it together. You really should see these 3-4 year olds on the field, it is great. And the local YMCA is doing a terrific job organizing the event, and lets not forget his coaches.

I think I spotted a scout for the Patriots over by the play ground. Tom Brady better watch out, here comes Alex!

Stuff

Marta spoke with Fia's future teacher today at school. She inquired about what Fia might learn, methods used to teach her etc. The teachers answer was we do a lot of stuff. I really expect a better answer than that from a teacher. Maybe we should apply elsewhere, where there might be less stuff and more of a curriculum to follow.

Unless it's good stuff. I hope it is.

Gray hair

I was so blond that it looked white as a kid. My hair has gotten a lot darker since then, Marta still calls me Blondie. My hair is a lot lighter than hers but still far from blond.

I have asked her on numerous occasions if I have gray hairs or not as I have seen a few suspects in the mirror. No she always answers, they are blond honey.

Last night I saw what she can't deny, gray hairs and lots of them. My heart started to beat really hard, panic attack around the corner so I sat down on the bath tub. What has happened to me? It is quite obvious, it is the darn kids fault. They are the ones who have given me gray hairs.

War paint

When I walked in the door last night I was greeted by the kids as usual, they where playing around in the living room. I asked where is mom and Alex replied that she is painting.

I found her in our bathroom putting make up on. She was getting herself ready for a dinner with the girls. They go out once a month and have what I understand a grand old time. All these women are from the Mom's club so we know them and their kids well. I returned to the living room to inquire about today's happenings, school, golf, did they eat their dinner etc.

Marta walks in to the living room, ear rings in place, a necklace, nice clothes. She puts her coat on and then it hits me.

Damn my wife is HOT!

I wasn't allowed to snap a picture of her to share here, but she looked fantastic. The only downside with war paint is that I don't get a kiss goodbye, that would ruin the lipstick.

Car thoughts

Betty is falling apart a little more each day and we really start to question her reliability, even though it's just me driving back and forth from work. The only advice we have gotten is to trade her in, when your mechanic says so I guess we will follow.

That has led to discussions what to get at the Berg household. A small car for me or a new for Marta and I take hers? We stick with tradition so I will take Marta's old car and we will get her, what?

We sat down and decided on a GM made car that seats 7. Their mini van is a complete turd so we are looking at these, the 2nd being our favorite.

We have decided to wait a month or two, I will try and be Mr. Mechanic and se if I can repair some stuff on Betty first.

Kite sailing

It is no secret that sailing is my passion, all forms and shapes of it. I have wanted to learn how to kite sail for awhile. With all air traffic around Charleston I might just give up on that.

Would you like something to eat?

The kids and I went down to the boat as usual. Colder that a mother in laws kiss we gave up and went over to Riverfront park, of the old navy base in North Charleston. It is a first attempt to spruce up a run down area of town after that part went downhill after the Navy left in -96 ( It might have been in -92). This park is great, it over looks the Cooper River, has a dog park right next to the kids play ground so that all 3 of my children can have some fun.

We pull up and park next to a beaten up Ford truck an no 1986. I put Milu in her area while Fia and Alex are running down to the play ground. There are 4 kids playing, 2 ten year old boys, an eight year old boy and a seven year old girl. Alex connects immediately with the boys, they take turns being the SHARK and chasing each other. The girl and Fia played on the merry go around etc.

Everybody is having a great old time, their mom comes up and speaks to me about one of the 10 year old. He is not hers, his mom lives with his 2 siblings in a cheap motel and is 65 dollars short for rent this Monday. I think, great I am getting mugged, home boy in the truck has a gun pointed at me. At the end of the conversation she asks me if my kids are hungry and if they would like some ham and cheese sandwich? She says she doesn't have much but they are willing to share. I say, Thank you Mam, we did the dollar menu at Wendy's, I love it. I know she says, it's a life saver.

We ended up spending a little over 2 hours with these people. Her kids were the most polite and considerate kids I have met in a long time, a bit different compare to some brats my kids hang with on a more regular basis. We all had a blast.

As I jumped in our Cadillac to drive home, I was very thankful for what we have, who we try to be and that there is people with no means who are willing to share with a total stranger, no matter how little it is.

I needed that experience badly.

Thank you family in North Charleston.

Golf

Got a pair of new golf shoes I hope to break in during the weekend. Off course it has to rain all ready. Alex has his football game at 9.45, hopefully with no rain just mud.

Marta and I went to the movies and watched The Bucket list, I give it 4 Berg's. We also went to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Way to pricey for what you got. $10 for a Grappa! I should have asked how much before I ordered.

Too small

Saw the new Mac Book yesterday, nice and slim, cravings.

But is it too small? Like my stupid phone. I have a Sony Ericsson that sucks. The buttons are so small I can't dial. I hit 2-3 different keys at the same time. I have to wait for people to call me,then concentrate like a mad man to store their number. Then try and spell their name right, impossible. Add a few beers and the real fun begins. I have the perfect code if the military is interested, hard to decipher.

Phone is ringing, Marta picks it up.

Jonas: Who is it?

Marta: Xfterhu.

Jonas: Ah, Tim and Pam house phone.

Sleet

The weather man is all excited about some "spotters" (they apparently have a lot of credibility)reporting sleet tonight. They are going wild, so enthusiastic that I believe they have a hard one. The so called super doppler (weather satellite) can't seem to pick it up even though it is down to street level, street level folks. All it shows is rain.

Any one willing to bet the schools be closed tomorrow?

Planning

Friday we might go to the hockey game or Saturday which is pack the house. I have all ready started to pack our stuff. Diapers ( Fia is almost potty trained), snacks, PJ's , tickets etc. Where and what are we are going to eat. Important stuff just to have a slim chance to get out of the house in time for the event.

How we did it before kids was totally different, the only bummer then would be to forget cash for parking.

Stereo types

Mattel recently announced the release of limited-edition Barbie Dolls for the Charleston, South Carolina market:

Daniel Island Barbie'
This princess Barbie is sold only at specialty stores in Daniel Island . She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a long-haired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie-cutter house. Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift. Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with the augmented version. <>

" West Ashley Barbie"
The modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Minivan, matching gym outfit and 2 children. Traffic jamming cell phone and soccer bags sold separately.







"Ladsen Barbie'
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows, and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is only available after dark and must be paid for in cash (preferably small, untraceable bills) ..unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you are talking about.







Mt. Pleasant Barbie
This Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2. Included are her Starbucks cup, credit card and country club membership. Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper. You won't be able to afford any of them.







" Goose Creek Barbie"
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans two sizes too small, a NASCAR t-shirt and Tweety Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six-pack of Bud Light and a Hank Williams Jr. CD set. She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk. Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.







Downtown Barbie
This collagen injected, rhino plastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription available as well as warehouse conversion condo.Sold only at Charleston Place.





North Charleston Barbie'
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted Ken out of Ridgetop Barbie's house. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see-through halter-top. Also available with a mobile hom e.





Sullivans Island Barbie'
This doll is made of actual tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks. She prefers that you call her Willow. She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Sullivans Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.





Crosstown Barbie'
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll. Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass. Gangsta Ken and his 1979 Caddy were available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.






Summerville Barbie
She's perfect in every way. We don't know where Ken is because he's always out a-'huntin'.





Remount Road Barbie/Ken'
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple snap-on parts.

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Grey Day

Like yesterday it is grey outside. Not cold but not very welcoming either. We are trying to come up with something fun to do, not an easy task. Most of what we like are outdoor activities, when the rain is lurking around just waiting for you to stick your nose outside, we draw a blank.

Alex's game was rained out, no wind, just a few dolphins and we got soaked at the park. Fia caught a cold and our shoes are still wet. That sums up yesterday.

Today started great for me, Marta gave me breakfast served in bed. I love it.

We will come up with something I bet, this afternoon Marta is sous chef for a friends birthday party. I imagine the food will turn out delicious.

Charleston

It is here we live today, in the south with it's beaches, marches, rivers and oak trees. It's definitely very charming and fits us well for now.

What makes me cry

This is where I grew up and I love and miss it.Enough said, tears are rolling down my cheeks. Now, how do I transfer all this to my children, it's their heritage.

Soccer

When is the US ever going to start to appreciate soccer? This is from my rinky dink hometown of Gothenburg, wait until you see Barca, Alex will tell you all about that.

IFK Göteborg & Deportivo

Blue and White! That is what we have in common and that is what keeps us from going nuts Habi! Blue and White!

Cold weather = BORING

Marta was on the phone for some time tonight with a friend that has moved from the south,even the deep south, up to Michigan of all places.

Marta: I think that she is bored.

Jonas: Of course she is bored.

Marta: How do you know, when is the last time you spoke to her?

Jonas: Probably 2 years or so, the last time she was here and I was actually around.

Marta: Two years, yeah right.

Jonas: So how is she?

Marta: Bored.

Jonas: I know that, that is what cold will do to you.

Marta: What do you know?

Jonas: I lived 26 years in the cold and dark, I do know!

Marta: I lived 2 1/2 years in Ohio and that was cold and dark so I do know!

Jonas: That's not even a tenth of what I went through, you have no room to talk!

Marta: That is exactly a tenth, dhi thi dhii!

Well, as much as I hate to admit it she is right. I don't hate where I grow up, I miss it and think about it all the time, questioning wetter I made the right choice. At the end of the day, it is nice to wear shorts in January, just like we did today.

Pals

June 30 2000. Long time ago since Marta and I got married. And then I stumbled upon this, by Pedro (who ever he is) in a totally different search.

Any way, I will never forget that day when I walked the same streets. Thanks Pedro!

To make Marta cry.

In all fairness, this is really the song that makes me think about Barcelona. Every time we fly in and the city comes in view, I hear this song in my head and I sing it to my wife, who by now is glued to the window to take it all in, and she starts to softly cry.

I have a feeling that when she read this post, a tear or two will come from her eyes.

I'm from Barcelona- we're from Barcelona

I love it!

And a bit surprised that they sing in English.

A is for Alex

In the car the other day Alex got all excited in the backseat when we were stopped at a light.

Alex; Pappa, I see an A.

Jonas; What do you see? ( I was deep in thought so I didn't hear)

Alex; An A!

Jonas; Can you describe it for me? ( I still didn't get it)

Alex; Pappa! It starts with me.

Jonas; Ah, you see an A, very good Alex, where do you see it?

Alex; Right there, there's a picture of it right there.

And it was a picture of an A next to us. The sign for the convenience store had a triangle with an A displayed in it.

An american revolution

Betty is acting up more and more, she is starting to nickel and dime a bit. I have my eyes on the car you can't ignore.

9 years

For a little bit over 9 years I have been exclusive with Marta. Exclusive (in a relationship) this I didn't understand the first time she mentioned it, after that she explained it, I was on board. For crying out load, I called my sister the same night I first saw her and told her that I had just met my wife.

Come 9 years later it is a different story. Don't take me wrong, Marta means the world to me, I can't picture myself without her, pain in the ass she is. My point is this,that after tonight's school board meeting we had the following conversation over the cell phone.

Jonas; I'm sorry it took a bit longer than normal.

Marta; That's OK honey.

Jonas; I hope you didn't have dinner done all ready.

Marta; Dinner, you expect dinner? I JUST FINISHED FIA'S GOODNIGHT STORY, ALEX IS NEXT!

Jonas; Do you want for me to pick up Jersey Mikes Philly cheese steaks?

Marta; YES!

So I do and when I come home we enjoy them tremendously.

Jonas; I got good news.

Marta; What good news? ( She sounds a bit grumpy asking this if I may say so).

Jonas: I motioned for next meeting to discuss 5 days a week for 2 year old, instead of either 2 or 3 days a week as they have now.

With that said I think I made Marta love me more forever and beyond that she ever has before. Sofia we both love to death, but she is a challenge, our Mini Marta.

Pirulina

I don't know what made her think that she could be safe from me? No one is safe. This is my sister in law. She is like no one else in the family and my wife adore her (so do I but please don't tell).

The wibes I get is that Pi had to put up with Marta before I had to. She also sat on some valuable information before we got married. Would that have changed my mind? No.

Do I resent her?

Not even a little bit.

Why not?

Put it this way, her and I say Campilla Familly. Oj oj oj.

Do we love them?

Hell yes!

Has Pi got her punishment?

Had to put up with John Jaspers didn't she. ( You did great Chris, you really did).

Do I whish she come visit?

More than you can imagine.

Chris, please come and visit. I'm a jack ass, I know it, I won't stop make fun of you unless you come. Since you're family Marta says I have to be nice (impossible), I still would love to see you.

Happy New Year #2!

I at times have a bit of issues with modern technologies. Youtube for instance. Doesn't load up as I want until a few days later.

After talking to Farmor and Farfar whishing them a Happy New Year, we decided to stay. It is blowing a steady 22-25 gusting 30. I am so proud of Fia wishing a Happy New Year a gazillion times.

It doesn't look as windy but if you turn the sound on no doubt about it. When it comes to Jan 1st, what ever you want to do for the rest of the year, do it this day. I would love to sail everyday, I take the wind, not comfortable with just me and the three kids, who do I need to impress?

# 1

I'm finally #1! I have claimed that I am the best and most handsome husband and best father for quiet some time now.Little did I know that bloging was the thing to put me up on the #1 chart. Watch out Modesty here comes Jonas.

Hold on now, check out blogs in Mt.Pleasant. Who is number 1? Thank you, thank you all for all of your appreciation, I do not know what to say more than keep it up folks, I'm only #3 if you Google me.

Number 3! I take Habi has a thing or two to do with this. He always claims to be number 1, not in Mount P buddy, not in Mount P. I am #1 out of 91 blogers! Come to the SC and I am #2, I stay with it as #2 in the US, going world wide I loose ground.

What can I say more than my material is limited. It is, but let me through this out to you, the #1 man on the moon was all Hollywood made up to be! Or was it? Keep logging in and I will tell ya!

Reruns

There is a strike by screen writers that has gone on for awhile. Meanwhile we have watched rerun after rerun. Among them CSI Miami.

Jonas; We've seen this.

Marta; Are you sure?

Jonas; Yeah I'm sure, they are driving fancy sport cars.

Marta; Honey, this is CSI Miami, all they do is driving fancy sport cars.

Jonas; Oh.

As it turns out we had seen it. Besides the Ferraris that set me off there were a few more things related to the actual crime scene that I had apparently missed. My wife hadn't. At the end of the day, we both agreed upon that what we were watching at this moment was a rerun.

Face book

I have signed up on face book. What a stupid site or maybe I haven't figured the site out yet. You are to "poke" some one and they can either accept you or not. What is a "poke" anyway?

I surfed around and found one of my cousins, some old friends from long ago, a couple of girls I dated way back when, and my brother in law. So I "poked" him and he accepted me as a friend. I now have 1 friend. For this I am thankful, I'm not sure how I would have felt if he denied me. Odd conversations around the dinner table next time I'm in Barcelona perhaps.

So now I wonder should I "poke" people that I recognize? And if they accept me, great I will have plenty of friends. And then what? The one that "pokes" the most wins I guess. And what if some one denies me? Would I feel terrible and have to go see a psychiatrist?

I think that I will "poke" around (sounds a little like cheating doesn't it) like a mad man to find out. And what is up with people having them self plus their kid in the picture? To stick with the flow, I've got Alex and I at Isle of Palms, taken by my brother in law. Just to show off like the rest.

Freezing

This morning is as cold as a Mother in laws kiss. How cold is that you might wonder. My experience is when it is upper 20's (-4C) or less.

Damn I wanted to go back to bed.

Fruitsalad

It is not annoying at all driving with kids in the car. They love singing to the Wiggles which is better than fighting and screaming in the back seat. I am ready to scream at times how ever.

Way to go

Fia is her true self, a beautiful day and all she does is sleep in the v berth. To her defense, it was blowing like stink (a hell of a lot).

Happy New Year!

I hope that all of you will have a wonderful 2008.

I also whish that it won't go by so fast, I must have missed half of 2007. It seems like just a few months went by and bam, a new year is upon us.